Happy Homemaking 1955 Edition

Editor’s note: While perusing Fab’s Home Accents Shop, I began thinking about the ritual of home decorating—how it has evolved, and how it has remained unchanged across decades. I wondered how Fab would have been received in another era. And then my research, I came across something truly eye opening. Brace yourselves.

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Westport Woman’s Weekly

February 11, 1955

Hello, Sirens of Suburbia!

Are you feeling fabulous? I, for one, am over the moon—I’ve already gotten the girls off to finishing school and supervised Mildred hoovering the whole house, leaving plenty of time to impart some pearls of domestic wisdom.

Last night I came across a strange, luminous typewriter in the Hubby’s den called a “Fab.” It was no Remington, I can tell you that! But I’m not one to trouble myself with technology.

It turned out to be a treasure trove of items that align beautifully with today’s lesson:

5 Tips For Keeping A “Fab” Home

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1. Look perfect. Always.

Do I even need to say this? Perhaps the most important part of a well kept home is the one keeping it. Your lips should be meticulously lined, your lashes always curled. God forbid you greet dinner guests with a rogue wisp of hair flying out of place. Imagine the shame! Keep tabs on every pore with this large, sensible Mirror. You may even be able to pass off its unusual shape as some kind of modern art. 

(Psst—now’s no time to neglect the waistline, either. All it takes is one extra glass of Chianti in the evening and you’re on your way to being a Rotund Rhonda.)

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2. Take pride in your purebred.

Your carefully coiffed Pekinese, Leopold, has been Best In Show three years in a row now—but those selfish judges refuse to acknowledge it beyond some flimsy certificate. Pay proper tribute with the Pedigree Container—which is also the perfect place to stash little Leo’s treats.

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3. Provide proper reading material.

We’re all a bit skeptical of today’s popular publications—though I’ve heard that Heffner fellow is quite the businessman. At any rate, it would behoove you to present some reading material around the house. It’s important to appear intellectual to new guests who may have not yet discovered that you don’t need to be intellectual when you are rich.

Slide a few issues of LIFE in this magazine rack et voilà—your home may as well be a gathering place for Mensa.

4. Display affectionate family photographs.

Repeat after me: “My family is perfect.” And don’t forget to smile! Even in tense times, those refined feathers of yours must remain unruffled. So if your mother-in-law scolds you for a haphazardly mixed Manhattan (as she should!), simply take a deep breath and reflect on a fonder memory until the moment passes.

This picture frame would look just adorable in the living room. (But what do they mean by “retro”? Peculiar.)

And this one is perfect for the kids. Simply slide two flattering photos next to one another and it will look like those little ankle-biters were actually happy at the same time!

5. Always be prompt.

You wouldn’t dream of sashaying into the beauty parlor five minutes late. Apply that same sense of punctuality to dinner preparation, and never again will you have to experience the shame of serving an overcooked Cornish hen. (I shudder to think!)

A cute clock in the kitchen should keep you on track. This one speaks to me.

Look at those butterflies breaking free from the clock’s face. Flying off to something better…something more meaningful. Leaving it all behind…

Would you look at the time! This Fab business has me in a tizzy. I have to goose it to the grocery before the midday rush. Until next time, happy homemaking!

Domestically yours,

Abigail VonHuffman

This oddly prophetic column was originally printed in the February 11, 1955 issue of Westport Woman’s Weekly. Fab’s involvement in this incident remains a mystery, but our programmers are looking into it.

In the meantime, visit the Home Accents Shop on Fab.

—Kate Canary